[CCWG-ACCT] CCWG - Executive Summary

[Kieren McCarthy]

Just read it. My thoughts/feedback:


* It's good. Much clearer. Logically laid out
* Good effort made to write in clean language


Questions:

* Who exactly is this for? The report says it has two audiences: ICANN
community (quick access to recommendations) and non-ICANN community
(broader audience)
* I would argue you can't have a report that adequately covers both
* Currently, I think it starts out with a broader audience in mind, but
quickly becomes increasingly focused on the ICANN community


Thoughts:

* This report is great for a specific group of people: those who are very
interested in the process and all the detail but are not in the 50 or so
people that have been following this topic very closely. In other words, I
think this report is great for the roughly 200-400 people who are largely
ICANN insiders but haven't had time to follow everything

* I think you need a report for the 2,000 to 5,000 people who are going to
be really interested in the IANA transition and who *may consider sending
in their feedback* on the process and in particular this accountability
component.

* I think such a second report could have a breakaway Executive Summary
that could then be used to update anyone and everyone



Feedback:

* There has clearly been an effort to develop clear and plain language, but
as the report progresses, it gets lost in jargon and phrases that have
become very familiar to the working group but which act as a barrier to
everyone else

* The report could do with a sub-editor/copy editor going over it and
removing extraneous wording, boiling it down a little

* The level of detail can be overwhelming. If you feel it is necessary to
keep in all the detail, then perhaps include mini-summaries for each main
section to help guide people through it



Hope this is helpful. Let me know if I can be of assistance



Kieren




On Mon, Nov 9, 2015 at 1:42 PM, Bernard Turcotte <turcotte.bernard at gmail.com
> wrote:

> All,
>
> Please find attached the first full draft of the executive summary which
> will be discussed on the call tomorrow.
>
> Apologies for the delay in getting this out but people have been working
> almost around the clock.
>
> Bernard Turcotte
> Staff Support
>
> for the co-chairs.
>
> _______________________________________________
> Accountability-Cross-Community mailing list
> Accountability-Cross-Community at icann.org
> https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/accountability-cross-community
>
>
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