[CCWG-ACCT] CCWG - Third Draft Proposal with annexes - First full version for CCWG comments (4 of many emails due to size)

[Bernard Turcotte]

Annexes 5,6,7

On Fri, Nov 20, 2015 at 4:18 PM, Bernard Turcotte <
turcotte.bernard at gmail.com> wrote:

>
> All,
>
> As per the schedule please find attached in separate files the third draft
> of the CCWG-Accountability Proposal and all its core annexes.
>
> We have opted to present it as separate files for ease of consideration.
>
> The core proposal file is aptly named CWG-3rdMainProposalV3.0 and all the
> Annex file names conveniently start with the word Annex and the number
> matches the recommendation
> ​.
>
> You will quickly realize that the main proposal is very closely based on
> the Update that was published on the 15th of November. Its slightly bigger
> at about 50 pages
> ​​
> vs 30 for the update
> ​​
> document. Some of the texts have been updated or replaced given the work
> that was carried out in developing the annexes however the core content has
> not changed - simply how we present it. A good part of the size increase is
> due to the comparative chart of the Mission and Core values which takes up
> 7 pages, but we felt it was critical content which needed to be in the main
> proposal. Graphics have been updated and new ones added which also accounts
> for some of the increase. Each Recommendation also now has a Detailed
> Recommendations section which tries to clearly identify what will need to
> be done for the specific Recommendation to be implemented. These changes by
> themselves probably account for the majority increase in volume.
>
> Each Annex has 4 sections
> ​ completed​
> , Summary, Detailed Recommendations, Explanation, Changes from the 2nd
> Draft. The summary is intended to be a high level functional summary of the
> recommendation and can sometimes be the same as the text in the main
> proposal. Detailed Recommendations should be the same as in the main
> proposal. The 3rd section is where the detailed content is. As an example
> we essentially copied the IRP section from the second draft into the detail
> section of the annex 7 on IRP. The 4th section Changes is a high level
> summary of changes from the second draft.There are additional sections but
> these are still under development.
>
> Given the size of the project and the schedule we hope you will understand
> that staff has only been able to do a first pass at editing these. As such
> final formatting has not been done and there will certainly be some
> spelling, grammar and other types of nits.
>
> Before being finalized the documents will be scrubbed by editors, writers
> and formatters.
>
> As you can see we have all the appropriate resources that will do their
> usual great editing job and as such we do not require everyone to volunteer
> to be our copy editors. It is also important to understand that line edits
> are a big problem for staff given not everyone works to the same standards
> and multiple line edited versions of the same document, as we learned in
> the comment exercise on the Update document, can be divergent and require
> an incredible amount of work to reconcile into a single version - which for
> the volume of work we are considering in this phase would make it
> impossible.So please, everyone, and especially our legally minded
> collaborators, no line edits.
>
> We are however looking forward to comments about content, are the
> recommendations clear and correctly presented, is there enough information
> in the main document, if not what is missing, is there too much
> information, what is that, Is the material organized and structured in an
> effective format. This is what we need at this point.
>
> Therefore we look forward to your comments, as per the above caveats, on
> this draft by 23:59UTC  Monday November 23rd.
>
> B
> ​ernard Turcotte
> ICANN Staff Support.​
>
> for the co-chairs and staff.
>
>
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