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<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:12.0pt"><b><span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">J. Beckwith Burr</span></b><b><span style="font-size:10.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:
Arial;color:#262626">
</span></b><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:
115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#3366FF;mso-no-proof:yes"><br>
</span></b><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:
Arial;color:#008656;mso-no-proof:yes">Neustar, Inc.</span></b><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#068658;
mso-no-proof:yes">
</span></b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;
mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#7D7D7D;mso-bidi-font-weight:bold;mso-no-proof:
yes">/</span><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:
Arial;color:#068658;mso-no-proof:yes">
</span></b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;
line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#7D7D7D;mso-no-proof:yes">Deputy General Counsel & Chief Privacy Officer<br>
1775 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington D.C. 20006</span><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:gray;
mso-no-proof:yes"><br>
</span><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:
Arial;color:#008656;mso-no-proof:yes">Office:</span></b><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#7D7D7D;
mso-no-proof:yes">
</span></b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;
mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#7D7D7D;mso-no-proof:yes">+1.202.533.2932
</span><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;
line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#008656;mso-no-proof:yes">Mobile:</span></b><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#7D7D7D;
mso-no-proof:yes">
</span></b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;
mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#7D7D7D;mso-no-proof:yes">+1.202.352.6367
<strong><span style="font-family:Arial">/</span></strong></span><span style="font-size:9.0pt;
line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#068658;mso-no-proof:yes">
</span><a href="http://www.neustar.biz"><b><span style="font-size:9.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#008656;
mso-no-proof:yes">neustar.biz</span></b></a><span style="font-size:9.0pt;
line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:gray;mso-no-proof:yes"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-weight:bold">From: </span>Robin Gross <<a href="mailto:robin@ipjustice.org">robin@ipjustice.org</a>><br>
<span style="font-weight:bold">Date: </span>Monday, November 23, 2015 at 3:01 PM<br>
<span style="font-weight:bold">To: </span>Greg Shatan <<a href="mailto:gregshatanipc@gmail.com">gregshatanipc@gmail.com</a>>, Accountability Community <<a href="mailto:accountability-cross-community@icann.org">accountability-cross-community@icann.org</a>><br>
<span style="font-weight:bold">Subject: </span>Re: [CCWG-ACCT] Comments on draft docs<br>
</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>
<div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space;" class="">
Agreed and I’m surprised to see it has slipped from the language.
<div class=""><br class="">
</div>
<div class="">Thanks,</div>
<div class="">Robin</div>
<div class=""><br class="">
<div>
<blockquote type="cite" class="">
<div class="">On Nov 23, 2015, at 11:56 AM, Greg Shatan <<a href="mailto:gregshatanipc@gmail.com" class="">gregshatanipc@gmail.com</a>> wrote:</div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline">
<div class="">
<div dir="ltr" class="">
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:verdana,sans-serif">These are all valuable comments, but I want to single one out in particular, because it makes a huge difference in the scope of the IRP:</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:verdana,sans-serif"><br class="">
</div>
<div class="gmail_default" style="font-family:verdana,sans-serif"><br class="">
</div>
<div class="gmail_default">
<blockquote style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left-width:1px;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-style:solid;padding-left:1ex" class="gmail_quote">
<font face="verdana, sans-serif" class=""><font class="">p.46: (IRP) I recall Becky wanted the IRP to address action<u class=""> or inaction</u>. "</font><font class="">The standard of review shall be an objective examination as to whether the complained-of
action [<span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,0)" class="">or inaction] </span>exceeds the scope </font><font class="">…"</font></font></blockquote>
<div class=""><br class="">
</div>
<div class=""><font face="verdana,sans-serif" class="">It wasn't just Becky that wanted this (I think that phrasing is just a leftover from the prior life of this email). It was certainly my understanding that we were covering both action and inaction. It
needs to be absolutely clear that this is the case.</font></div>
<div class=""><font face="verdana,sans-serif" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div class=""><font face="verdana,sans-serif" class="">Greg </font></div>
<div style="font-family:verdana,sans-serif" class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="gmail_extra"><br class="">
<div class="gmail_quote">On Mon, Nov 23, 2015 at 2:07 PM, Steve DelBianco <span dir="ltr" class="">
<<a href="mailto:sdelbianco@netchoice.org" target="_blank" class="">sdelbianco@netchoice.org</a>></span> wrote:<br class="">
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
<div style="word-wrap: break-word; font-size: 16px; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;" class="">
<div class="">
<div class="">
<div class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="font-size: 16px;" class="">Here are my</font><font face="Calibri" class=""> comments on the </font><font face="Calibri" style="font-family:Calibri,sans-serif" class="">Main Document, Annex 9, and Annex 12.
</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">I</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="font-family:Calibri" class=""> shared most of this with WP1 on yesterday</font><font face="Calibri" class="">’</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""><font face="Calibri" class="">s
call, bu </font>wanted<font face="Calibri" class=""> to post them to the </font></font><font face="Calibri" class="">full CCWG as well.</font></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><b class=""><br class="">
</b></font></div>
<span style="font-size: 16px; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;" class="">
<div style="word-wrap:break-word" class="">
<div class="">
<div class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><b class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""><br class="">
</font></b></font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""><font face="Calibri" class="">p.3 Community powers listed do not
</font><font face="Calibri" class="">show the </font></font><font face="Calibri" class="">Community-based IRP. On p.46, the community IRP is mentioned, but nowhere do we spell out the threshold to launch a community IRP. Our Dublin decision model showed a
community IRP required support of 3 AC/SOs and no more than 1 objection.</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""><br class="">
</font></font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">p.5 – where did this line come from, and what does it mean? </font></font></div>
<blockquote style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;" class="">
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><i class="">"Workable consensus reforms that enhance the role of the community and ICANN’s Mission should be consistent with ICANN’s interest as a corporate
entity."</i></font></div>
<font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class="">It <font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">was in our 15-Nov </font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class="">summary,
but was NOT in our 2nd draft report.</font>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class="">Sometimes community interests will NOT be consistent with interests of the corporate entity.</font></div>
<font face="Calibri" class="">I r</font><span style="font-family:Calibri" class="">ecommend</span><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""> we DELETE that line. </font></blockquote>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" style="" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" style="" class="">p.10 Empowered Community graphic shows GSO. Should be GNSO</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class="">p</font><font class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">.12 Escalation graphic: I think ENFORCEMENT should be on the horizontal line in upper right
corner, to imply this is a step after notifying the ICANN board of the community decision. That would match better with the Enforcement step described on p. 15</font></font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">p.12-13 Step 1: after 1 AC/SO approves the petition, shouldn’t we allow an extra 15 days for a second AC/SO to also approve the </font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">petition?</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class="">p. 13 Step 2: I’m pretty sure we also said that the conference call would be recorded and transcribed, and published.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class="">p. 16: should we add “ and Articles of Incorporation” to the 5th bullet, “Approving any modifications to Standard or Fundamental Bylaws”. Articles already say, "9. These Articles may
be amended by the affirmative vote of at least two-thirds of the directors of the Corporation.
<span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,0)" class="">When the Corporation has members, any such amendment must be ratified by a two-thirds (2/3) majority of the members voting on any proposed amendment.</span>” Should we change the Articles to say “Members
or Designators”? </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><br class="">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class="">p.18: numbered item 5 says “Sole Member Model” Should be Sole Designator Model.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><span style="font-family: -webkit-standard; font-size: 12px;" class="">p.20, 21, 22: should we add “ and Articles of Incorporation” to the 5th bullet, “Approving any modifications to Standard
or Fundamental Bylaws”. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="font-family:Calibri" class="">p.23: says </font><font face="Calibri" class="">“</font><font face="Calibri" style="font-family:Calibri,sans-serif" class="">none
objecting</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">”</font><font face="Calibri" class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">, but </font>I<font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""> thought we always require more than one objecting to block a power.
My notes from Dublin show that we </font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">required more than one objection to block removal of a NomCom director. Perhaps this was changed after Dublin, but I’m not sure.</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">p.46: (IRP) I recall Becky wanted the IRP to address action<u class=""> or inaction</u>. "</font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">The
standard of review shall be an objective examination as to whether the complained-of action [<span style="background-color:rgb(255,255,0)" class="">or inaction] </span>exceeds the scope </font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">…"</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">p.46: (IRP). Says "</font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">A community Independent Review Process would be completely
subsidized by ICANN”. Would be clearer to say, “Legal costs for a</font><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;" class=""> community Independent Review Process would be paid by ICANN”</span></div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">p</font><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class="">.49: says "</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">Based on stress test analysis, </font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">CCWG-Accountability
recommends incorporating the reviews specified in the Affirmation of Commitments</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""> </font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">…” More precise to say, “Based on Stress Test #14, </font><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;" class="">CCWG-Accountability
recommends incorporating the commitments and reviews specified </span><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">…"</font></div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">P</font><font class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class="">.55: Transparency in WS2: Becky — didn’t we commit to give the Sole Designator the same document access rights that the Sole Member would
have under CA law? If so, that should be in this section.</font></font></div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div class=""><font class=""><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" class=""><b class="">Annex 9: </b>This annex does not include the tables where we describe the changes to AoC reviews as they are brought into the bylaws. Must be an oversight, since those tables
include many, many WP1 decisions about specific review team requirements. I attached the AoC document again here. </font></font></div>
<div class=""><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><br class="">
</font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><font face="Calibri" class=""><b class="">Annex 12</b>: Stress Tests. This draft shows none of our analysis of existing and proposed measures. </font></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><span style="font-family:Calibri" class="">I strongly recommend we return to the table format (attached includes the updated ST 29 and 30). This would add as much as 17 pages to the annex,
but I don’t see how we can justify the Stress Test conclusions without showing how we reached the conclusions.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><span style="font-family:Calibri" class=""><br class="">
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;" class=""><span style="font-family:Calibri" class="">Annex 12: note that the introductory sentence for ST 29 and 30 was updated to this, per a request from Greg Shatan: </span></div>
<blockquote style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;" class="">
<div class=""><font face="Calibri" class="">Public commenters requested two additional stress tests regarding challenging enforcement of contract provisions on the basis that they exceed the limited mission of ICANN.</font></div>
<div class=""><br class="">
</div>
</blockquote>
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