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<div><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 16px;">Here are my</font><font face="Calibri"> comments on the </font><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Main Document, Annex 9, and Annex 12. </font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">I</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="font-family: Calibri;"> shared
most of this with WP1 on yesterday</font><font face="Calibri">’</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif"><font face="Calibri">s call, bu </font>wanted<font face="Calibri"> to post them to the </font></font><font face="Calibri">full CCWG as well.</font></div>
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<font face="Calibri,sans-serif"><font face="Calibri">p.3 Community powers listed do not
</font><font face="Calibri">show the </font></font><font face="Calibri">Community-based IRP. On p.46, the community IRP is mentioned, but nowhere do we spell out the threshold to launch a community IRP. Our Dublin decision model showed a community IRP required
support of 3 AC/SOs and no more than 1 objection.</font></div>
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<font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">p.5 – where did this line come from, and what does it mean? </font></font></div>
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<font face="Calibri"><i>"Workable consensus reforms that enhance the role of the community and ICANN’s Mission should be consistent with ICANN’s interest as a corporate entity."</i></font></div>
<font face="Calibri" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">It <font face="Calibri,sans-serif">was in our 15-Nov </font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">summary,
but was NOT in our 2nd draft report.</font>
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<font face="Calibri">Sometimes community interests will NOT be consistent with interests of the corporate entity.</font></div>
<font face="Calibri">I r</font><span style="font-family: Calibri;">ecommend</span><font face="Calibri,sans-serif"> we DELETE that line. </font></blockquote>
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<font face="Calibri" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">p.10 Empowered Community graphic shows GSO. Should be GNSO</font></div>
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<font face="Calibri">p</font><font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">.12 Escalation graphic: I think ENFORCEMENT should be on the horizontal line in upper right corner, to imply this is a step after notifying the ICANN board of the community decision. That
would match better with the Enforcement step described on p. 15</font></font></div>
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<font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">p.12-13 Step 1: after 1 AC/SO approves the petition, shouldn’t we allow an extra 15 days for a second AC/SO to also approve the </font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">petition?</font></div>
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p. 13 Step 2: I’m pretty sure we also said that the conference call would be recorded and transcribed, and published.</div>
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p. 16: should we add “ and Articles of Incorporation” to the 5th bullet, “Approving any modifications to Standard or Fundamental Bylaws”. Articles already say, "9. These Articles may be amended by the affirmative vote of at least two-thirds of the directors
of the Corporation. <span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">When the Corporation has members, any such amendment must be ratified by a two-thirds (2/3) majority of the members voting on any proposed amendment.</span>” Should we change the Articles
to say “Members or Designators”? </div>
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p.18: numbered item 5 says “Sole Member Model” Should be Sole Designator Model.</div>
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<span style="font-family: -webkit-standard; font-size: medium;">p.20, 21, 22: should we add “ and Articles of Incorporation” to the 5th bullet, “Approving any modifications to Standard or Fundamental Bylaws”. </span></div>
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<font face="Calibri,sans-serif" style="font-family: Calibri;">p.23: says </font><font face="Calibri">“</font><font face="Calibri" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">none objecting</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">”</font><font face="Calibri"><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">,
but </font>I<font face="Calibri,sans-serif"> thought we always require more than one objecting to block a power. My notes from Dublin show that we </font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">required more than one objection to block removal of a NomCom director.
Perhaps this was changed after Dublin, but I’m not sure.</font></div>
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<font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">p.46: (IRP) I recall Becky wanted the IRP to address action<u> or inaction</u>. "</font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">The standard of review shall be an objective examination as to whether the complained-of action
[<span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">or inaction] </span>exceeds the scope </font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">…"</font></div>
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<font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">p.46: (IRP). Says "</font></font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">A community Independent Review Process would be completely subsidized by ICANN”. Would be clearer to say, “Legal costs for a</font><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"> community
Independent Review Process would be paid by ICANN”</span></div>
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<div><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">p</font><font face="Calibri" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">.49: says "</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">Based on stress test analysis, </font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">CCWG-Accountability
recommends incorporating the reviews specified in the Affirmation of Commitments</font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif"> </font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">…” More precise to say, “Based on Stress Test #14, </font><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">CCWG-Accountability
recommends incorporating the commitments and reviews specified </span><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">…"</font></div>
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<div><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">P</font><font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif">.55: Transparency in WS2: Becky — didn’t we commit to give the Sole Designator the same document access rights that the Sole Member would have under CA law? If so, that
should be in this section.</font></font></div>
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<div><font><font face="Calibri,sans-serif"><b>Annex 9: </b>This annex does not include the tables where we describe the changes to AoC reviews as they are brought into the bylaws. Must be an oversight, since those tables include many, many WP1 decisions about
specific review team requirements. I attached the AoC document again here. </font></font></div>
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<font face="Calibri"><b>Annex 12</b>: Stress Tests. This draft shows none of our analysis of existing and proposed measures. </font></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I strongly recommend we return to the table format (attached includes the updated ST 29 and 30). This would add as much as 17 pages to the annex, but I don’t see how we can justify the Stress Test conclusions without showing
how we reached the conclusions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Annex 12: note that the introductory sentence for ST 29 and 30 was updated to this, per a request from Greg Shatan: </span></div>
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<div><font face="Calibri">Public commenters requested two additional stress tests regarding challenging enforcement of contract provisions on the basis that they exceed the limited mission of ICANN.</font></div>
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