[AT-Review] Edits on the version of 20 October

[Fabio Colasanti]

Dear all,

 

Some comments on the section of WG 4 that appears to need some extra work.

 

Ÿ    On page 39 the title "Findings and recommendations" should become just
"Findings".   There is a separate section "Recommendations" on page 40.

 

Ÿ    The language of the first recommendation of WG4 on page 40 looks odd.
It appears that the Review Team is proposing to set up another Review Team
to review and assess "the accountability and transparency of the existing
mechanisms".   We need some language to indicate more clearly that this
recommendation refers only to some specific aspects of the existing
mechanisms for the review of the decisions of the Board.   We should also be
saying that we could not do this ourselves for lack of time.   In other
cases we have indeed reviewed and taken a position on past recommendations
by other groups/review bodies.

 

Ÿ    On page 41 the section about the "Community Re-vote" should be moved to
the previous section ("Findings") since we are not making any recommendation
under this item.

 

Ÿ    Board Removal Mechanism.    What's the point of saying (page 42) that
the Board should consider something that we do not believe can work?

 

Ÿ    The section "Overarching issue" (page 42) should also be moved to the
section "Findings".   If it is an "overarching" issue, it should be the
first in this section.    But what are we proposing here?   The present text
does not suggest anything.

 

Brian, if you do not have other resources at hand, I am available to help
with the formatting (fonts, titles, coherence of the lists of bullet points
and indents, page numbers, date in the footer and footnotes – the
"references" at the end of the document are in fact the footnotes of the
section of WG 4).   I would need two-three hours from the moment I receive
the "final" text.

 

All the best,

 

Fabio

 

 

Fabio Colasanti

36, rue des Patriotes

B-1000 Bruxelles

tel. +32 2 736 26 16

mob. +32 488 14 24 05

fabio at colasanti.it

 

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