[atrt2] Corrections to Final Report

Brian Cute bcute at pir.org
Mon Dec 23 14:26:40 UTC 2013


Thank you Alan.

On 12/22/13 2:44 PM, "Alan Greenberg" <alan.greenberg at mcgill.ca> wrote:

>Attached is the most recent version I received. Previous changes to
>Recommendation 7 (page 46) and the entire Section 13 (pages 63-69)
>were accepted and my changes then added.
>
>The changes are:
>
>- Rec 7 now has to somewhat unrelated sections, so I applied
>numbering to the paragraphs.
>
>- Changing capitalization in Rec 7 and omitting an extraneous word.
>
>- The body of Section 13 still referred specifically to the PDP even
>though the recommendations were now more generalized. I changed the
>added a sentence to the lead paragraph of Section 13 to address this.
>
>- Bullets were missing to the summary of original community input.
>
>- Adding a missing S in 10.1-b
>
>I have NOT made the corresponding changes to the Executive Summary.
>
>
>Two changes throughout the document that I have NOT made but highly
>recommend:
>
>- We interchangeably use "public comment" and "Public Comment". I
>suggest the latter.
>
>- The section title "Public Comment on Draft Recommendations" has had
>the "Draft" deleted, presumably because we are no longer including
>the text of the draft Recs. This results in some confusion as to
>whether these comments are in fact to the Recs that follow. I suggest
>we re-instate the word Draft, and perhaps and a line just under the
>title pointing to where the draft report can be found.
>
>Alan_______________________________________________
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