<html><head><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html charset=iso-8859-1"></head><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space;">I agree with Olivier's proposed wording change. As I'm unsure who is holding the pen on the current document (only knowing it isn't me :)), I'll let whoever does hold the pen make the modifications (unless someone objects).<div><br></div><div>Regards,</div><div>-drc</div><div><br><div><div>On Dec 19, 2013, at 3:40 PM, Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond <<a href="mailto:ocl@gih.com">ocl@gih.com</a>> wrote:</div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"><blockquote type="cite"><br><fieldset style="padding-top:10px; border:0px; border: 3px solid #CCC; padding-left: 20px;"><legend style="font-weight:bold">Signed PGP part</legend><div style="padding-left:3px;">Dear David, Larisa,<br><br>thanks for your follow-up in this.<br>I have read through the whole document again & am happy with the changes<br>& the correction of the typographical/formatting error in the ALAC's note.<br><br>My comment on Recommendation 27 is quite simple. Currently, it reads:<br><br>"ATRT2 Assessment of Recommendation Effectiveness<br><br>Based on the comments referenced above and similar comments both in<br>other public comments and relayed during the ICANN Durban meeting, there<br>may be some question as to whether the Westlake Governance DNS Risk<br>Framework is ?comprehensive within the scope of ICANN?s SSR remit and<br>limited missions? however it must be acknowledged that comprehensiveness<br>is a matter of opinion and those opinions appear to vary significantly."<br><br>I have a concern that we're already making no Recommendations of our<br>own, thus all of the text is tagged as "observations" - which is weak -<br>and the language used in this particular paragraph is particularly weak.<br>I suggest strengthening the message as:<br><br>"ATRT2 Assessment of Recommendation Effectiveness<br><br>Based on the comments referenced above and similar comments both in<br>other public comments and relayed during the ICANN Durban meeting, there<br>is some question as to whether the Westlake Governance DNS Risk<br>Framework is "comprehensive within the scope of ICANN's SSR remit and<br>limited missions". However, comprehensiveness is a matter of opinion and<br>those opinions vary significantly, which is cause for concern."<br><br>--- end of quote ---<br><br>I hope that this stands a better chance for the Board to check whether<br>to act on this observation, cross-check the scope of ICANN's SSR remit<br>and check if the Westlake report actually fills that remit.<br><br>Kind regards,<br><br>Olivier<br><br><br>On 19/12/2013 17:35, David Conrad wrote:<br>> Larisa,<br>><br>> The edits look fine to me, however I gather Olivier has some concern<br>regarding the write up of SSR Rec 27:<br>><br>> "Recommendation 27 review is too complacent."<br>><br>> as well as a view that the commentary for that recommendation does not<br>reflect the ALAC statement.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span> I'm happy to revise, but am unsure how to<br>address his concerns without additional information.<br>><br>> Regards,<br>> -drc<br>><br>> On Dec 19, 2013, at 8:25 AM, Larisa B. Gurnick<br><<a href="mailto:larisa.gurnick@icann.org">larisa.gurnick@icann.org</a> <<a href="mailto:larisa.gurnick@icann.org">mailto:larisa.gurnick@icann.org</a>>> wrote:<br>><br>>> David,<br>>><br>>> Please review the proposed edits to Appendix C ? SSR Review<br>Implementation and provide staff with your final edits by 16 UTC on<br>Friday, 20 December.<br>>><br>>><br>>><br>>> Thank you,<br>>><br>>><br>>><br>>> */Larisa B. Gurnick/*<br>>><br>>> Consultant/Senior Director, Organizational Reviews<br>>><br>>> Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN)<br>>><br>>> <a href="mailto:larisa.gurnick@icann.org">larisa.gurnick@icann.org</a> <<a href="mailto:larisa.gurnick@icann.org">mailto:larisa.gurnick@icann.org</a>><br>>><br>>> 310 383-8995<br>>><br>>><br>>><br>>> <Appendix C - SSR Assessment 19 Dec.docx><br>><br>><br>><br>> _______________________________________________<br>> atrt2 mailing list<br>> <a href="mailto:atrt2@icann.org">atrt2@icann.org</a><br>> <a href="https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/atrt2">https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/atrt2</a><br><br>--<br>Olivier MJ Crépin-Leblond, PhD<br><a href="http://www.gih.com/ocl.html">http://www.gih.com/ocl.html</a></div></fieldset><br><br></blockquote></div><br></div></body></html>