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<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">General RySG comments on the first draft of the ePDP initial report</span></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">The RySG ePDP team is submitting the following general comments on the draft initial report dated 1 November 2018. We are simultaneously working on more detailed and substantive
feedback to the specific points of the Report, but felt it was important to go on the record with this high-level feedback as soon as possible, given the short time remaining until the 19 November target to publish that report.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">To provide context for this feedback, we would like to remind the ePDP Leadership and Working Group of the RySG’s goal statement for participating in the ePDP:
</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:.5in"><i><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">The Registries Stakeholder Group’s goal is to participate actively and in good faith towards a consensus policy that addresses the questions set forth
in the EPDP Charter. The RySG believes that any consensus policy developed by the EPDP must provide a clear path for compliance with the GDPR, be commercially reasonable and implementable, takes into account our differing business models, and does not inhibit
innovation.</span></i><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Months into our work, this statement still reflects our goals for this working group and the lens through which we view the preliminary draft of the Initial Report.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Scope of the Initial Report</span></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">The RySG ePDP team wishes to emphasize that the focus of the Initial Report for this first phase of the ePDP should be on affirming or altering the requirements of the Temporary Specification
to ensure that ICANN’s contracted parties are able to comply with the GDPR in fulfilling the services they are required to provide. As currently drafted, the Initial Report does not make clear whether the scope of the ePDP includes only RDDS or all data processing
activities undertaken by ICANN’s contracted parties; we recommend that such a distinction be made clearly at the outset of the Report. We also recommend that the Report provide answers to all the Charter questions that pertain to this first phase of the ePDP’s
work. Any items that fall outside of the scope as stated above should be reserved for a later phase of the ePDP and, by extension, a subsequent report.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black"></span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">The report and the policy recommendations contained therein should be straightforward and easy to understand</span></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">The report as currently drafted is difficult to read and understand, in particular for those readers who have not been actively participating in or consistently observing the work
of the ePDP. We recommend that ICANN staff take particular care in explaining the terminology used in the report and providing sufficient context around the discussions that led up to the conclusions reached, where necessary.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Furthermore, as the ePDP charter calls for this Initial Report to be sent to the EDPB for feedback on the applicability of the law in relation to the proposed recommendations, it
is particularly important that the Report and attendant policy recommendations be written in a clear and straightforward manner that can facilitate such a review. </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black"></span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Use of the purpose workbooks</span></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">We believe that one of the reasons the current draft of the Initial Report is so difficult to follow is because it relies so heavily on the purpose worksheets that the Working Group
developed. The RySG understood these worksheets to be a tool to aid the deliberations of the Working Group. The text contained in the worksheets has little meaning outside of the context of the discussion and deliberations of the Working Group and as such
the workbooks are not suitable for wholesale inclusion in the Initial Report.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">We are also concerned that the completed worksheets have not been fully vetted by the ePDP Working Group. The Group’s deliberations have focused primarily on the purpose statement
itself and the Group has not discussed the later sections of the worksheets in depth if at all, particularly since new versions of the worksheets were published following ICANN 63. Despite this fact, the Initial Report relies heavily on these later sections
of the worksheets. Given the lack of discussion and, by extension, the absence of agreement on these portions, we find this approach to be problematic.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black"></span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Source of the (26) policy recommendations</span></b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black"><br>
While the Initial Report devotes substantial text to the worksheets, it is not clear to the RySG ePDP team how the 26 preliminary policy recommendations were developed. There seems to be no clear connection between the discussions of the Working Group thus
far and the specific recommendations contained in the Initial Report. We note the disclaimer on page 9 that “all content, and especially the draft recommendations will need to be cross-checked with the final language agreed to by the ePDP team before publication”.
To aid in that cross-checking, it would be helpful if staff could cite the provenance of each recommendation, whether it be discussions during a particular meeting(s),one of the purpose worksheets, or an email thread.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">In light of the lack of clarity around the source of the 26 policy recommendations, the RySG ePDP team is particularly concerned about their presentation in the Initial Report. The
phrasing of the recommendations implies that the Working Group reached consensus on these recommendations, and it is our understanding that no such consensus has yet been achieved. The initial report should not present recommendations on items where the group
did not reach consensus. </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Ability to implement policy recommendations</span></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">In addition to our concerns about the presentation of the policy recommendations in the Initial Report, it is also not immediately clear what the implementation impacts of those recommendations
will be. As one of the parties who will have to implement the policy recommendations contained in the Final Report, it is important to us that such implications are duly considered when developing the recommendations.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Questions for community</span></b><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">The draft of the Initial Report lists 10 questions for the community. The RySG ePDP team feels there are additional questions on which we should be asking the community to supply
feedback, and will be providing suggestions along with our detailed comments.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">Closing thoughts</span></b><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">
</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:black">The RySG ePDP team wants to thank Staff and the Leadership team for all their hard work assembling this draft and their support getting us this far. We realize this is a first draft
and work in progress. As stated we are working on specific and substantive comments for more detailed review but hope these general comments will be helpful as we move from first draft to a final version of the Initial Report.</span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:10.5pt"><b><span style="font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#006AAA">Marc Anderson</span></b><span style="font-size:12.0pt;color:#1F497D"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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