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I want to quibble a bit about wording here. <br>
<br>
First, we normally think of "Consumers" as "end-users" so adding
end-users may be redundant. <br>
<br>
Second, vested interest is normally taken to mean "a personal stake
or involvement" in something like an undertaking (e.g. policy
making) or state of affairs (e.g. policy implementation), or
something with an expectation of financial gain. Those who are
stakeholders have, by definition, a vested interest. I don't like
the proposed wording around "claim to". If there is a claim issue
here, it is whether or not one qualifies as a stakeholder,. It is
not whether or not stakeholders have a vested interest. <br>
<br>
Sam L., NPOC/CSIH<br>
<br>
<br>
<div class="moz-cite-prefix"><i>On 8/17/2016 11:00 AM, Ayden
Férdeline wrote:</i><i><br>
</i></div>
<blockquote
cite="mid:61tSJH4lE5XIbDPXrNAGJ5eFpM0BxT-fTzKtLBc_r4DPVfdJBdx7J_rqkFBzj24ztU9ckjyyTVfEgTrcuJV-q9bTOhgfx21QXM829lj5_dI=@ferdeline.com"
type="cite">
<div><i>Hi Greg,</i><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i><br>
</i><i>Thank you for taking the time to suggest these revisions.
I would like to respectfully submit that we maintain, in the
first paragraph, the reference to the "ever-evolving global
Internet."</i></div>
<div><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i>With regards to the second paragraph, you suggested:
“Consumers, the domain name industry, governments,
intellectual property owners, registrants, and a variety of
other stakeholders all have a vested interest in an RDS
system…” </i><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i>A fairer framing would be: “Consumers, the domain name
industry, governments, intellectual property owners,
registrants, </i><i><b><u>end-users</u>,</b></i><i> and a
variety of other stakeholders </i><i><b><u>claim to</u></b></i><i>
have a vested interest in an RDS system…”</i><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i>Text is underlined and in bold solely for legibility
purposes. Please let me know if you have any questions or
concerns regarding this alteration.</i></div>
<div><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i>Best wishes,</i></div>
<div><i><br>
</i></div>
<div class="protonmail_signature_block">
<div><i>Ayden Férdeline</i><i><br>
</i></div>
<div><i><a moz-do-not-send="true"
title="http://www.linkedin.com/in/ferdeline"
href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/ferdeline">linkedin.com/in/ferdeline</a></i><br>
</div>
<div><br>
</div>
</div>
<blockquote class="protonmail_quote" type="cite">
<div>-------- Original Message --------<br>
</div>
<div>Subject: Re: [gnso-rds-pdp-wg] For WG Review - Redlined
Problem Statement<br>
</div>
<div>Local Time: August 17, 2016 3:45 PM<br>
</div>
<div>UTC Time: August 17, 2016 2:45 PM<br>
</div>
<div>From: <a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:gca@icginc.com">gca@icginc.com</a><br>
</div>
<div>To: <a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:lisa@corecom.com,gnso-rds-pdp-wg@icann.org">lisa@corecom.com,gnso-rds-pdp-wg@icann.org</a><br>
</div>
<div><br>
</div>
<div>
<br>
</div>
<div class="WordSection1">
<p class="MsoNormal"><a moz-do-not-send="true"
name="_MailEndCompose"><span style="font-family:Calibri,
sans-serif" class="font"><span style="font-size:11pt"
class="size">Thanks to the drafting team. My comments
are as follows.</span></span></a><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">First paragraph:
the addition of “</span></span></span><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">(domain name)”
does not help, and makes the sentence more confusing.</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">First paragraph:
as per the meeting notes, “ever-evolving global
Internet” is probably not necessary. (And divining the
future is difficult.)</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">Top of second
paragraph: Add the words “a variety of other
stakeholders’” so as to read: “</span></span></span><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">Consumers, the
domain name industry, governments, intellectual
property owners, registrants, and a variety of other
stakeholders all have a vested interest in an RDS
system…” The current list in the draft is not
comprehensive, and other stakeholders have been
identified by our WG, the EWG, etc. We cannot imply
that the current list is authoritative or complete.</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">Second paragraph:
“performant” is not a defined word in the English
language; it’s more software developer slang. In a
document like this, I suggest we use words that are
well-defined and our global audience can rely upon. I
think we are trying to say: “performs well”.</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">Third paragraph:
rather than “constituency” I think we mean and should
use “set of stakeholders.” “Stakeholders” ties back
to the text above. And at ICANN, “constituency” has a
specific meaning and we want to avoid confusion with
that.
</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">Third paragraph:
Regarding this section: “This understanding will
enable the Working Group to ensure the policies which
enable an effective RDS also define a secure and safe
environment for commerce and communication.” This
formulation seems overly broad. While security,
abuse, and privacy are considerations, a “safe
environment for commerce and communication” on the
Internet is much broader than those, and involves far
more than registration data. </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">So, what are
drafters aiming at here, and can a reasonable scope
and intent be expressed? I wonder if that sentence is
needed at all.</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">Third paragraph:
“within the RDS”. Do you mean “that uses the RDS”?
“Within the RDS” implies being embedded somehow. As
always, use of the term “system” can be confusing if
not defined on context, since sometimes in this WG
“system” refers to a technical system (like an ARDS)
and sometimes “system” refers to the wider ecosystem
of interlocking policies and technical
implementations.</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">With best wishes,</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">--Greg</span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:10pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:10pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:10pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span
style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size"> </span></span></span><br>
</p>
<div><span style="mso-bookmark:_MailEndCompose"></span><br>
</div>
<div>
<div style="border:none;border-top:solid #E1E1E1
1.0pt;padding:3.0pt 0in 0in 0in">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family:Calibri,
sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">From:</span></span></b><span
style="font-family:Calibri, sans-serif" class="font"><span
style="font-size:11pt" class="size">
<a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org">gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org</a>
[<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org">mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org</a>]
<b>On Behalf Of </b>Lisa Phifer<br>
<b>Sent:</b> Wednesday, August 17, 2016 2:35 AM<br>
<b>To:</b> RDS PDP WG
<a class="moz-txt-link-rfc2396E" href="mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg@icann.org"><gnso-rds-pdp-wg@icann.org></a><br>
<b>Subject:</b> [gnso-rds-pdp-wg] For WG Review -
Redlined Problem Statement</span></span></p>
</div>
</div>
<p class="MsoNormal"> <br>
</p>
<div>Dear all,<br>
</div>
<div>
<br>
</div>
<div>
Attached please find a redlined version of the problem
statement produced by the drafting team for WG review. This
redline includes edits discussed during today's WG call.<br>
</div>
<div>
<br>
</div>
<div>
<b><i>Action item</i></b><i>: WG to review redline version
of the problem statement and share any further
comments/edits with the mailing list ahead of next week's
meeting.
<br>
<br>
</i>Thank you to the drafting team for their work, and to
all WG members for reviewing the attached redline with the
goal of finalizing this statement on the next WG call.</div>
<div>
<br>
</div>
<div>
Best,<br>
</div>
<div>
Lisa<br>
</div>
<div>
<br>
</div>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div><br>
</div>
<br>
<fieldset class="mimeAttachmentHeader"></fieldset>
<br>
<pre wrap="">_______________________________________________
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</blockquote>
<br>
<pre class="moz-signature" cols="72">--
------------------------------------------------
"It is a disgrace to be rich and honoured
in an unjust state" -Confucius
邦有道，贫且贱焉，耻也。邦无道，富且贵焉，耻也
------------------------------------------------
Dr Sam Lanfranco (Prof Emeritus & Senior Scholar)
Econ, York U., Toronto, Ontario, CANADA - M3J 1P3
email: <a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:Lanfran@Yorku.ca">Lanfran@Yorku.ca</a> Skype: slanfranco
blog: <a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://samlanfranco.blogspot.com">http://samlanfranco.blogspot.com</a>
Phone: +1 613-476-0429 cell: +1 416-816-2852</pre>
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