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<p><font size="+1"><font face="Lucida Grande">to "facilitate" the
management of a domain name registration throughout its life
cycle?</font></font></p>
<p><font size="+1"><font face="Lucida Grande">Stephanie Perrin</font></font><br>
</p>
<br>
<div class="moz-cite-prefix">On 2016-09-29 10:47, Gomes, Chuck
wrote:<br>
</div>
<blockquote
cite="mid:6DCFB66DEEF3CF4D98FA55BCC43F152E4B04702E@BRN1WNEXMBX01.vcorp.ad.vrsn.com"
type="cite">
<pre wrap="">Thanks Rob for contributing to our discussion. I inserted some questions after Rob's comments to help us discuss them as a group.
All - please see and respond to my comments below.
Chuck
-----Original Message-----
From: <a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org">gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org</a> [<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org">mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces@icann.org</a>] On Behalf Of Rob Golding
Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2016 12:10 AM
To: <a class="moz-txt-link-abbreviated" href="mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg@icann.org">gnso-rds-pdp-wg@icann.org</a>
Subject: Re: [gnso-rds-pdp-wg] For your review - updated RDS Statement of Purpose
#1
</pre>
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<blockquote type="cite">
<pre wrap="">purpose of gTLD registration data is to provide information
</pre>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<pre wrap="">
provide seems to be the wrong word, although I'm unsure if store/manage/maintain/record/define are any better
[Chuck Gomes] Does anyone, including Rob, have a suggested edit in this regard?
</pre>
<blockquote type="cite">
<blockquote type="cite">
<pre wrap="">about the lifecycle of a domain name (as specified by ICANN’s Diagram
of gTLD Lifecycle) to enable management of a domain name
registration.
</pre>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<pre wrap="">
I'm struggling with "to enable management of a domain name registration"
maybe "enable" should be "assist with"
[Chuck Gomes] Does anyone object to this suggested edit or have an alternative one to deal with Rob's concern?
#2
</pre>
<blockquote type="cite">
<blockquote type="cite">
<pre wrap="">purpose of a system to collect, maintain, and provide access to gTLD
Registration Data (hereafter referred to as “the RDS”) is to provide
information that is
</pre>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<pre wrap="">
^ we've already defined it as a systems to "collect, maintain and provide" so the extra "provide" here should probably be "handle" or "manage"
[Chuck Gomes] Do members support changing 'to provide information'? If so, which option do you prefer: 1) 'to handle information'; 2) 'to manage information'; 3) some other word?
</pre>
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<blockquote type="cite">
<pre wrap="">needed by authorized parties to operate a generic top-level domain
name in the DNS.
</pre>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<pre wrap="">
^ RDS isn't needed to operate a domain in the DNS
perhaps "to operate a generic top-level domain name in the DNS." should just be "regarding a gTLD"
[Chuck Gomes] Does anyone object to this edit or have an alternative suggestion?
Rob
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