<html><head></head><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 14px; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><div><div><div>Alissa,</div><div><br></div><div>May I suggest that the language in the RFP be consistent in using “IANA functions” instead of IANA services and other substitutes? There are services that are performed by the IANA department that are not IANA functions; for example the time zone database. Using substitutes for “IANA functions” may lead to submissions that include things that are not within the IANA Functions contract with the USG.</div><div><br></div><div>For example in version 10, Item I. "Description of Community’s Use of IANA” could be interpreted to include all of the things done by the IANA Department within ICANN and not just the things that are done as part of the IANA Functions Contract. Another example is the use of “IANA services” as a substitute for “IANA functions”. </div><div><br></div><div>Thank you,</div><div><div>-- Elise </div><div><br></div></div></div></div><div><br></div><span id="OLK_SRC_BODY_SECTION"><div style="font-family:Calibri; font-size:11pt; text-align:left; color:black; BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0in; PADDING-LEFT: 0in; PADDING-RIGHT: 0in; BORDER-TOP: #b5c4df 1pt solid; BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; PADDING-TOP: 3pt"><span style="font-weight:bold">From: </span> Alissa Cooper <<a href="mailto:alissa@cooperw.in">alissa@cooperw.in</a>><br><span style="font-weight:bold">Date: </span> Thursday, August 21, 2014 at 5:40 PM<br><span style="font-weight:bold">To: </span> joseph alhadeff <<a href="mailto:joseph.alhadeff@oracle.com">joseph.alhadeff@oracle.com</a>>, "<a href="mailto:internal-cg@icann.org">internal-cg@icann.org</a>" <<a href="mailto:internal-cg@icann.org">internal-cg@icann.org</a>><br><span style="font-weight:bold">Subject: </span> Re: [Internal-cg] Further RFP revision<br></div><div><br></div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div><div><div>I took one more stab at this — v10 attached and uploaded.</div><div><br></div><div>There was some new text in v09(jha) about how people should feel free to</div><div>comment to us about transparency, completeness, etc. I think that is true</div><div>as a general matter, but that is not what we are asking for specifically</div><div>in this RFP. That is what we will ask for — from anyone who cares to</div><div>answer — after we have the proposal components submitted (by December :)).</div><div>So I removed that text.</div><div><br></div><div>I also found the new first paragraph quite confusing — it said we are</div><div>issuing this RFP “for consideration” by all parties, which makes it sound</div><div>like we’re asking people to comment on the RFP itself, rather than submit</div><div>proposals. So, I did some editing on the first two paragraphs, and also</div><div>tried to work in the good suggestion from Manal that we re-emphasize that</div><div>we will direct comments to the operational communities where we can. Here</div><div>is how the first two paragraphs read now:</div><div><br></div><div>"The IANA Stewardship Transition Coordination Group (ICG) is seeking</div><div>complete formal responses to this Request for Proposals (RFP) from the</div><div>“operational communities” of IANA (i.e., those with direct operational or</div><div>service relationships with IANA; namely names, numbers, protocol</div><div>parameters). Other interested and affected parties are strongly encouraged</div><div>to provide their inputs through open processes run by these operational</div><div>communities. Other parties may provide comments to the ICG on particular</div><div>aspects that may be covered by proposals that may be of significant</div><div>interest to them, for review by the ICG as time and resources permit. The</div><div>ICG will direct comments received from other parties to the relevant</div><div>operational communities as appropriate.</div><div><br></div><div>During the development of their proposals, the operational communities are</div><div>expected to consult and work with other affected parties; likewise, other</div><div>affected parties are strongly encouraged to participate in community</div><div>processes, as the ICG is requiring proposals that have consensus support</div><div>from a broad range of stakeholder groups.”</div><div><br></div><div>In section 0, I edited “change” to “address” in "Identify which category</div><div>of the IANA functions this submission proposes to change” since some</div><div>communities might propose no changes.</div><div><br></div><div>In section 4 I still think there are three bullet points that need</div><div>elaboration, of just one sentence each, because they are not clear on</div><div>their face:</div><div><br></div><div>·Continuity of service requirements</div><div>·Risks</div><div>·Service integration aspects</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>For example, “Risks” seems so vague that each community could write a</div><div>novel about them and not be complete. What are we really looking for here?</div><div><br></div><div>Thanks,</div><div>Alissa</div><div><br></div><div>On 8/19/14, 8:50 AM, "joseph alhadeff" <<a href="mailto:joseph.alhadeff@oracle.com">joseph.alhadeff@oracle.com</a>> wrote:</div><div><br></div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div>I have uploaded v9(jha) with a few suggested edits to further clarify</div><div>the operational vs impacted communities comment process... Also a</div><div>question of whether testing should be limited to Section III - are those</div><div>the only changes contemplated that could impact stability and</div><div>functionality?</div><div><br></div><div>I think we are getting pretty close to a final draft...</div><div><br></div><div>Joe</div><div>On 8/19/2014 11:05 AM, Milton L Mueller wrote:</div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div> Paul:</div><div> Done. It is uploaded as docx as version 09. Also proposed some minor</div><div>clarity changes to the preamble and added a comment responding to</div><div>Martin's nervousness. We can't have Martin being nervous.</div><div><br></div><div> Milton L Mueller</div><div> Laura J and L. Douglas Meredith Professor</div><div> Syracuse University School of Information Studies</div><div> <a href="http://faculty.ischool.syr.edu/mueller/">http://faculty.ischool.syr.edu/mueller/</a></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div> -----Original Message-----</div><div> From: <a href="mailto:internal-cg-bounces@icann.org">internal-cg-bounces@icann.org</a> [<a href="mailto:internal-cg-">mailto:internal-cg-</a></div><div> <a href="mailto:bounces@icann.org">bounces@icann.org</a>] On Behalf Of Paul Wilson</div><div> Sent: Tuesday, August 19, 2014 10:05 AM</div><div> To: ICG</div><div> Subject: Re: [Internal-cg] Further RFP revision</div><div><br></div><div> Milton, thanks for your comments on the "section 0" part. this adds</div><div>some</div><div> needed clarity about the whole orientation of this process.</div><div><br></div><div> If you can, please make further edits to the version 8 document linked</div><div> below.</div><div><br></div><div> Paul.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div> On 19 Aug 2014, at 9:30 pm, Paul Wilson <<a href="mailto:pwilson@apnic.net">pwilson@apnic.net</a>> wrote:</div><div><br></div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div> Apologies for the delay, a new RFP revision is now online:</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></blockquote><div> <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/4d2izh5jobgyu48/IANA%20Transition%20RFP%">https://www.dropbox.com/s/4d2izh5jobgyu48/IANA%20Transition%20RFP%</a></div><div> 20v08.docx</div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div><br></div><div> Paul</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div> On 19 Aug 2014, at 8:52 pm, Paul Wilson <<a href="mailto:pwilson@apnic.net">pwilson@apnic.net</a>> wrote:</div><div><br></div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div> Dear all,</div><div><br></div><div> I am in the process of reconciling all inputs on the latest RFP</div><div>document,</div></blockquote></blockquote><div> and will have a clean version available in Dropbox shortly.</div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div> My intention is to go run this document sequentially during tonight's</div></blockquote></blockquote><div> meeting, seeking ICG members' views and suggestions.</div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div> Thanks,</div><div><br></div><div> Paul.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></blockquote></blockquote><div> __________________________________________________________</div><div> ______________</div><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><blockquote id="MAC_OUTLOOK_ATTRIBUTION_BLOCKQUOTE" style="BORDER-LEFT: #b5c4df 5 solid; PADDING:0 0 0 5; MARGIN:0 0 0 5;"><div> Paul Wilson, Director-General, APNIC</div><div><<a href="mailto:dg@apnic.net">dg@apnic.net</a>></div><div> <a href="http://www.apnic.net">http://www.apnic.net</a> +61 7 3858</div><div>3100</div><div><br></div><div> See you at APNIC 38!</div><div><a href="http://conference.apnic.net/38">http://conference.apnic.net/38</a></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></blockquote></blockquote><div> _______________________________________________</div><div> Internal-cg mailing list</div><div> <a href="mailto:Internal-cg@icann.org">Internal-cg@icann.org</a></div><div> <a href="https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg">https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg</a></div></blockquote><div> _______________________________________________</div><div> Internal-cg mailing list</div><div> <a href="mailto:Internal-cg@icann.org">Internal-cg@icann.org</a></div><div> <a href="https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg">https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg</a></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>_______________________________________________</div><div>Internal-cg mailing list</div><div><a href="mailto:Internal-cg@icann.org">Internal-cg@icann.org</a></div><div><a href="https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg">https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/internal-cg</a></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></div></blockquote></span></body></html>