[Ws2-staff_acct] Changes made in Rev 1.7 - consensus call for submission to 2nd reading

[Jordan Carter]

I agree with Cheryl's comment in my role as a participant. Good work Avri.

Jordan

On Thu, 28 Sep 2017 at 4:48 PM, Cheryl Langdon-Orr <langdonorr at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Avri,
>
> Thanks for this prompt update on our document post the CCWG Plenaries
> successful 1st reading, as you know I comments during the call I was happy
> with these proposed edits, so am noting here my support for them, and look
> forward to our report going into a 2nd reading of the Plenary as soon as
> practical.
>
> On Sep 28, 2017 13:30, "avri doria" <avri at apc.org> wrote:
>
>> Hi,
>>
>> During today's WS2 plenary meeting, the report passed its first reading
>> with a few comments.
>>
>> The changes can be found in:
>>
>> <
>> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vH5su7SDGE0i_rTstbYJ7tIaOFuRnV4dfqpwMTPoYa8/edit?usp=sharing
>> >
>>
>> 2 pdf files are attached: one marked up and one clean.
>>
>> _Change made_
>>
>> - page 3  Roles and Responsibilities point 7.
>>
>> Added two explicit instances of ",as appropriate"
>>
>> - page 5  Recommendation 2
>>
>> It was commented that point ii, was not a recommendation but an
>> explanation.  It was recommended that the explanation be removed.
>> Instead, the recommendation has been be subordinate to one of the
>> recommendation and no longer stands alone as a recommendation.
>>
>> - page 6 Recommendation 3 change 1
>>
>> Sentence reworked to replace informal with ad-hoc.  Not sure this is as
>> correct as informal. But not sure that it makes a difference.
>>
>> - page 6 Recommendation 3 change 2
>>
>> We were asked to add example conditions of when discussions could be
>> confidential instead of transparent. Since the Transparency subgroup
>> developed answers for the SOAC accountability subgroup to the same
>> issue, the SOAC text was copied to this report.  A footnote was added to
>> say that the various example listings should remain consistent once the
>> entire WS2 book was built.
>>
>> - page 6 Recommendation 4a.
>>
>> The consensus was that it should remain service level guideline instead
>> of service level agreements.
>>
>> _Consensus Call  for 2nd plenary reading submission
>> _
>>
>> Until 30 September 2359 UTC
>> __
>>
>> If anyone has any objections or strong recommendations for ways to
>> change the edits being made in response__to the 1st reading comments
>> please contribute specific changes on the list.  If we change the file
>> in a substantive way during this last call based on comments, I will
>> restart the last call for another 48 hours after the change is
>> published.  Minor fixes will just be made without restarting the clock.
>>
>> Note: at this point substantive changes to the report or its content are
>> discouraged as they would require another 1st plenary reading and would
>> probably mean that we would not finish in time.
>> __
>>
>> thanks
>>
>> avri
>>
>>
>>
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-- 
Jordan Carter | Chief Executive, InternetNZ

+64-21-442-649 | jordan at internetnz.net.nz

Sent on the run, apologies for brevity
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