[atrt2] Template 28 & 29

[Alan Greenberg]

Brian, as per our discussion earlier this evening, I have redrafted 
the template to address my concerns. Specifically:

1. I integrated the revised section on community input that was added 
to the original template after you made the changes.

2. Restored the intent of the first sentence of the analysis section.

3. Put back in, but re-worded the section on ensuring negotiation in 
good faith and added a section of the issue of the Board responding 
to pressure after the fact. It is justified by the discussions of the 
Chairs group and by several comments.

4. I restored the recommendation on GAC involvements. In his last 
draft, Larry does have a place holder Rec (#10) pending the Expert 
report, but it is very general and avoids mentioning the GNSO and 
PDP. I am sure they can be melded, but don't have the stamina to try 
now. The text included is very carefully worded to not prescribe HOW 
to fix the problem, but that the end-result of getting interaction is 
the target. I would suggest that we leave them as is in this draft.

5. I have re-worked the Rec on getting wider involvement. It is a key 
issue identified in the Experet report as well as several comments. 
Paul is correct in the it IS aspirational. It may be that parts of it 
are not practical to achieve now or in the foreseeable future. But we 
DO need to look at the issue and not put our heads in the ground. The 
re-work makes it clear this is not a demand to fix the problem, but 
to start looking at it and look for opportunities.

6. Re-wording of the Amend PDP procedures  to make them more 
understandable (I did not know what "ICANN should assist the Board" meant).

You can take it from here. If you feel that section I added back need 
to go, so be it.

Alan

At 03/10/2013 11:04 AM, Brian Cute wrote:
>Avri and Alan,
>
>Paul and I offer some friendly edits to the template.  Please take a 
>look at the redlined version and further iterate the document (there 
>is a clean version as well).  The suggested edits where not intended 
>to change substance or "direction."  Rather to add to what was there 
>and with a view toward consistency across the entire report from a 
>structural standpoint.  We have also done an edit of the 12-16, 35 
>and 36 template that I will send shortly.  Please take as friendly 
>amendments and edit to a final state as you see fit.
>
>Best,
>Brian
>
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