[atrt2] Appendix C - SSR Review Implementation - FOR YOUR REVIEW

[Larisa B. Gurnick]

Staff will incorporate Olivier's suggested wording and circulate the Appendices along with the next version of the Final Report.

Larisa

From: atrt2-bounces at icann.org [mailto:atrt2-bounces at icann.org] On Behalf Of David Conrad
Sent: Thursday, December 19, 2013 4:04 PM
To: Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond
Cc: ATRT2 (atrt2 at icann.org)
Subject: Re: [atrt2] Appendix C - SSR Review Implementation - FOR YOUR REVIEW

I agree with Olivier's proposed wording change.  As I'm unsure who is holding the pen on the current document (only knowing it isn't me :)), I'll let whoever does hold the pen make the modifications (unless someone objects).

Regards,
-drc

On Dec 19, 2013, at 3:40 PM, Olivier MJ Crepin-Leblond <ocl at gih.com<mailto:ocl at gih.com>> wrote:



Signed PGP part
Dear David, Larisa,

thanks for your follow-up in this.
I have read through the whole document again & am happy with the changes
& the correction of the typographical/formatting error in the ALAC's note.

My comment on Recommendation 27 is quite simple. Currently, it reads:

"ATRT2 Assessment of Recommendation Effectiveness

Based on the comments referenced above and similar comments both in
other public comments and relayed during the ICANN Durban meeting, there
may be some question as to whether the Westlake Governance DNS Risk
Framework is ?comprehensive within the scope of ICANN?s SSR remit and
limited missions? however it must be acknowledged that comprehensiveness
is a matter of opinion and those opinions appear to vary significantly."

I have a concern that we're already making no Recommendations of our
own, thus all of the text is tagged as "observations" - which is weak -
and the language used in this particular paragraph is particularly weak.
I suggest strengthening the message as:

"ATRT2 Assessment of Recommendation Effectiveness

Based on the comments referenced above and similar comments both in
other public comments and relayed during the ICANN Durban meeting, there
is some question as to whether the Westlake Governance DNS Risk
Framework is "comprehensive within the scope of ICANN's SSR remit and
limited missions". However, comprehensiveness is a matter of opinion and
those opinions vary significantly, which is cause for concern."

--- end of quote ---

I hope that this stands a better chance for the Board to check whether
to act on this observation, cross-check the scope of ICANN's SSR remit
and check if the Westlake report actually fills that remit.

Kind regards,

Olivier


On 19/12/2013 17:35, David Conrad wrote:
> Larisa,
>
> The edits look fine to me, however I gather Olivier has some concern
regarding the write up of SSR Rec 27:
>
> "Recommendation 27 review is too complacent."
>
> as well as a view that the commentary for that recommendation does not
reflect the ALAC statement.  I'm happy to revise, but am unsure how to
address his concerns without additional information.
>
> Regards,
> -drc
>
> On Dec 19, 2013, at 8:25 AM, Larisa B. Gurnick
<larisa.gurnick at icann.org<mailto:larisa.gurnick at icann.org> <mailto:larisa.gurnick at icann.org>> wrote:
>
>> David,
>>
>> Please review the proposed edits to Appendix C ? SSR Review
Implementation and provide staff with your final edits by 16 UTC on
Friday, 20 December.
>>
>>
>>
>> Thank you,
>>
>>
>>
>> */Larisa B. Gurnick/*
>>
>> Consultant/Senior Director, Organizational Reviews
>>
>> Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN)
>>
>> larisa.gurnick at icann.org<mailto:larisa.gurnick at icann.org> <mailto:larisa.gurnick at icann.org>
>>
>> 310 383-8995
>>
>>
>>
>> <Appendix C - SSR Assessment 19 Dec.docx>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> atrt2 mailing list
> atrt2 at icann.org<mailto:atrt2 at icann.org>
> https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/atrt2

--
Olivier MJ Crépin-Leblond, PhD
http://www.gih.com/ocl.html


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