[atrt2] Corrections to Final Report

Alan Greenberg alan.greenberg at mcgill.ca
Sun Dec 22 21:21:56 UTC 2013


Brian, I can live with the heading as it is, but to be clear, I was 
not suggesting that this was a draft report, but rather pointing out 
that the section heading I was referring to was preceding comments 
that were made to the draft report. Keeping the word Draft there 
makes the title reflect what follows (and I suggested a pointer to 
where to find the draft Recs if someone really cared(.

Alan

At 22/12/2013 03:53 PM, Brian Cute wrote:
>Thanks Alan for the follow up.  I worry that leaving the word 
>"Draft" in the report can cause confusion for the reader about where 
>the Draft report "ends" and where the Final Recommendations and 
>Report begin, not to mention questions about the relationship 
>between the Draft and the Final.  The entire document has been 
>reviewed and edited so it really is in a "Final" state.  I recommend 
>that the word "Draft" be removed and that the Report be issued as a 
>Final Report.
>
>Best,
>Brian
>
>Sent from my iPhone
>
> > On Dec 22, 2013, at 2:44 PM, Alan Greenberg 
> <alan.greenberg at mcgill.ca> wrote:
> >
> > Attached is the most recent version I received. Previous changes 
> to Recommendation 7 (page 46) and the entire Section 13 (pages 
> 63-69) were accepted and my changes then added.
> >
> > The changes are:
> >
> > - Rec 7 now has to somewhat unrelated sections, so I applied 
> numbering to the paragraphs.
> >
> > - Changing capitalization in Rec 7 and omitting an extraneous word.
> >
> > - The body of Section 13 still referred specifically to the PDP 
> even though the recommendations were now more generalized. I 
> changed the added a sentence to the lead paragraph of Section 13 to 
> address this.
> >
> > - Bullets were missing to the summary of original community input.
> >
> > - Adding a missing S in 10.1-b
> >
> > I have NOT made the corresponding changes to the Executive Summary.
> >
> >
> > Two changes throughout the document that I have NOT made but 
> highly recommend:
> >
> > - We interchangeably use "public comment" and "Public Comment". I 
> suggest the latter.
> >
> > - The section title "Public Comment on Draft Recommendations" has 
> had the "Draft" deleted, presumably because we are no longer 
> including the text of the draft Recs. This results in some 
> confusion as to whether these comments are in fact to the Recs that 
> follow. I suggest we re-instate the word Draft, and perhaps and a 
> line just under the title pointing to where the draft report can be found.
> >
> > Alan
> > <ATRT2 Final Report - Draft #2-AG.docx>
> > _______________________________________________
> > atrt2 mailing list
> > atrt2 at icann.org
> > https://mm.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/atrt2



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