[CWG-Stewardship] Transition Proposal v.3 -- Edits due on Sunday at 23:59 UTC

[Gomes, Chuck]

My input on Proposal v.3 is highlighted in the attached file.  Note in all cases where I suggested edits I also entered a comment except in one footnote where I made a very minor edit and Word wouldn't let me insert a comment.

Chuck

From: cwg-stewardship-bounces at icann.org [mailto:cwg-stewardship-bounces at icann.org] On Behalf Of Grace Abuhamad
Sent: Friday, June 05, 2015 12:07 AM
To: cwg-stewardship at icann.org
Subject: [CWG-Stewardship] Transition Proposal v.3 -- Edits due on Sunday at 23:59 UTC

Dear all,

Attached is the updated proposal. This version includes the edits listed below. Your comments are requested and welcome until Sunday 23:59 UTC. If you don't have time to read the whole proposal, I've highlighted specific areas in the document that require feedback.

Areas that require feedback:

  *   Paragraph 164 (p.32): needs text
  *   Paragraph 172 (p.34): DT-F to confirm edit
  *   Section IV edits should be reviewed by CWG (Andrew perhaps?)
  *   Section VI edits should be reviewed by CWG (Avri perhaps?)
  *   Footnote (p.65): DT-N to respond to Sidley about status of footnote
  *   Page 73: DT-C to confirm response to Sidley comment
  *   Page 80: DT-M to review footnote
  *   Page 81: DT-M/DT-C to comment on Sidley note
  *   Paragraph 389 (p.92): DT-N/SR/X to define "Review Team Liaison" per Sidley's comment
  *   Page 111 & 112: Bernard to address Sidley comments
Edits included in version 3:

  *   All the comments & edits from Greg, Avri, Sidley, Lise and Andrew.
  *   The following items from today's call:

     *   Paragraph 123 has been reviewed to be internally consistent
     *   Paragraph 141: adjusted text around CCWG-Accountability structure
     *   Paragraph 167: removed sentence
     *   Paragraph 170: Removed the word "multistakholder" and use 'customer-based' instead)
     *    Added footnote to paragraph 169 about .INT (footnote is also in Annex to section II)
     *   Paragraph 275: fixed composition of IFRT (and also fixed this in SCWG composition)
     *   Annex S: Added disclaimer about term sheet

  *   DT C Charter updates (see Section III and Annex G)
  *   Section IV edits
  *   Section VI edits
As you know, we had a technical glitch with document versions right before the call yesterday. In recovering the version, there were a lot of formatting changes that had to be done. I have attached version 2.5 (the in-between version) so that you have it, but please note that version 3 is the version to work off of.  There are still lots of formatting fixes in version 3, but we will work on these over the weekend and on Monday.

We are almost there!
Grace
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://mm.icann.org/pipermail/cwg-stewardship/attachments/20150606/75256afc/attachment-0001.html>
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: FinalTransitionProposal_v3 with Gomes input.docx
Type: application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document
Size: 1415144 bytes
Desc: FinalTransitionProposal_v3 with Gomes input.docx
URL: <http://mm.icann.org/pipermail/cwg-stewardship/attachments/20150606/75256afc/FinalTransitionProposal_v3withGomesinput-0001.docx>