[Internal-cg] Consensus document - for discussion Sept 17

Kavouss Arasteh kavouss.arasteh at gmail.com
Wed Sep 17 09:52:15 UTC 2014


Dear All,
I strongly suggest we avoid to make any perfection to the text.
We just take what we have agreed .
We engage in such a liberty to further improve the language in anstylic
fashion we may have a situation to be faced with unintended consequences.
I therefore humbly suggest not to make any improvement rather to detect any
editorial and purely editorial amendment
Regards
Kavouss

2014-09-17 12:34 GMT+02:00 Manal Ismail <manal at tra.gov.eg>:

>  Many thanks Alissa and all who have contributed to this document ..
>
> I'm sending my editorial remarks below following your suggestion ..
>
> It's worth noting that I'm flexible to revert to the original language
> wherever deemed more appropriate ..
>
>
>
> Page 1:
>
> -          4th paragraph under 2. : replace capital 'M' of 'ICG Members'
> with small 'm' for consistency
>
>
>
> -          I've tried the url at the footnote and it did not work (might
> be my problem but worth someone else checking) ..
>
>
>
> Page 2:
>
> -          3rd paragraph under 3. : For cases for which where it has been
> previously agreed that a decision is to be made at a given meeting and one
> or more members are not  in a position to attend present at that meeting,
> these members  may provide their views to the ICG in advance in order that
> those views be considered at the scheduled meeting for decision making.
> Should the decision made not meet the requirements views of those absent,
> there should be another attempt to find a suitable compromise. Absent
> members  should be invited to provide the ICG with a written statement of
> their concerns for inclusion in the report /conclusions of the ICG.
>
>
>
> -          4th paragraph under 3. : I suggest the deletion of this
> paragraph as, to me, it is completely redundant to paragraph 3 above .. if
> it was decided to remain, there's a missing full-stop at the end of the
> paragraph ..
>
>
>
> I do not dare to suggest any changes on the following pages J ..
>
>
>
> Hope you find the above straight forward non-substantial changes ..
>
>
>
> Kind Regards
>
> --Manal
>
>
>
> *From:* internal-cg-bounces at icann.org [mailto:
> internal-cg-bounces at icann.org] *On Behalf Of *Alissa Cooper
> *Sent:* Wednesday, September 17, 2014 2:40 AM
> *To:* joseph alhadeff; internal-cg at icann.org
> *Subject:* Re: [Internal-cg] Consensus document - for discussion Sept 17
>
>
>
> All,
>
>
>
> Attached and in Dropbox are the versions we will use on the call on Sept
> 17:
>
>
>
> ICG Guidelines for the Decision Making-v12-MU-ALC-JA-ALC.docx
>
> ICG Guidelines for the Decision Making-v12-MU-ALC-JA-ALC-clean.docx
>
>
>
> All of the changes since v12-MU-ALC are editorial (mostly typo fixes and
> white space deletions), except one: on page 1, I added the text suggested
> by Joe about public comment periods. The editorial fixes include the
> suggestions made by Joe, Wolf-Ulrich, Kavouss, and Milton (off-list).
>
>
>
> If people spot further editorial issues prior to the call, please send
> them in email to the mailing list, rather than editing the document
> directly, and I will incorporate them prior to the call.
>
>
>
> Thanks,
>
> Alissa
>
>
>
> On 9/16/14, 5:14 AM, "joseph alhadeff" <joseph.alhadeff at oracle.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>  Alissa, Colleagues:
>
> The draft is acceptable as is - thanks for your work on editing...  I have
> proposed a few non-substantive edits to improve understanding - for example
> use of public comment forum may be read not to include written comments,
> propose replacing forum with consultation, etc.
>
> One possible addition might be a reaffirmation of our commitment to
> consultation which should be differentiated from our 7 day period for
> decisions...  Possible language which could be added to making decisions
> could be:
>
> ICG will make all reasonable efforts  to enable member stakeholder
> communities to have appropriate time to consult with their members on
> issues on which the ICG will make substantive decisions.  Where appropriate
> and practicable, public comment periods will also be provided .
>
> Joe
>
> On 9/16/2014 4:40 AM, Kavouss Arasteh wrote:
>
>  I am at another meeting
>
> I have  read your edited text which seems to cover most or almost every
> points.
>
> Please let me to ck it again and come back to you
>
> Kavouss
>
>
>
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