[NPOC-EC] NPOC Brochure Proof

[Raoul Plommer]

To be frank, there's not much to narrow down, since it's only one two-sided
page with mostly pictures.

Here are ones I found in the first paragraph:

1.
"nongovernmental organizations wishing to have a voice by participating in
ICANN’s policymaking processes"
INSTEAD
"nongovernmental organizations wishing to have a voice in ICANN’s
policymaking processes"
OR
"nongovernmental organizations wishing to participate in ICANN’s
policymaking processes"

2.
"how proposed and existing policies and initiatives uniquely affect those
it represents."
INSTEAD
"how proposed and existing policies and initiatives uniquely affect
not-for-profit organisations."

The brochure goes on about operational concerns and seems to explain them
out but we don't actually need to do that anymore, since they are not in
our name and we specifically wanted to change the name so we don't have to
be spelling it out every single time.

Please, have a good look everyone and bring your notes to the meeting.


On Mon, 11 Sept 2023 at 16:37, Caleb Olumuyiwa Ogundele <
muyiwacaleb at gmail.com> wrote:

> What exactly did you spot.
> That might help us narrow it down?
>
> On Mon, Sep 11, 2023, 8:33 AM Raoul Plommer via NPOC-EC <npoc-ec at icann.org>
> wrote:
>
>> Hello Extended EC,
>>
>> We're in the process of accepting our tri-fold brochure, so could you
>> please have a look at it before Wednesday's meeting? I spotted a good few
>> issues in the text so I now think it's better we'll have more eyeballs on
>> this. Andrea can correct me if I'm wrong, but the main layout is already
>> done so only changes to text and some other possible minor details can be
>> done at this stage.
>>
>> -Raoul
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