[Rt4-whois] Fwd: Executive summary, findings and recommendations - revised [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

Mon Apr 30 07:58:11 UTC 2012

Would you mind combining the documents that you and Peter just sent around,
and re-circulate Peter's comments + the updated attachment to the team.

Thanks

Emily

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Nettlefold, Peter <Peter.Nettlefold at dbcde.gov.au>
Date: 30 April 2012 08:50
Subject: RE: [Rt4-whois] Executive summary, findings and recommendations -
revised [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]
To: Emily Taylor <emily at emilytaylor.eu>, "rt4-whois at icann.org" <
rt4-whois at icann.org>
Cc: Alice Jansen <alice.jansen at icann.org>

Hello all,****

** **

Thanks to Emily, Kathy and all the others who have contributed to this
revised draft.****

** **

I have made several comments and edits in revision mode. These are
primarily to:****

** **

**·       **Comment on Emily’s and Kathy’s discussion about whether to
reinstate text from the first draft – in general, I agree to reinstating
the relevant text, but can also live with some minor softening in places****

**·       **Seek some clarification on the outreach recommendation (#3). In
short, I strongly support the sentiment, and make some comments about
clarifying/sharpening the recommendation. I have not offered alternate text
for this one, as I’m not sure I fully understand the nuances, so I’ll look
for others to comment.****

**·       **Add the additional sub-part to the compliance
recommendation(#4) that I circulated earlier, and which to date only Emily
has commented on and supported****

**·       **Edit the privacy/proxy text, to remove the reference to
‘legitimate’ in the findings, and more substantively to offer a draft
alternative to the contentious last paragraph in the recommendation (#10)***
*

**·       **Add an ‘awareness raising’ component to the data access
recommendation (#11)****

**·       **(Re)offer alternative wording for the status reports
recommendation (#15) to clarify the timing and expectations****

** **

I hope this helps.****

** **

Cheers,****

** **

Peter****

** **

PS. I have just seen Alice’s email with a newer version of the Executive
Summary, which includes the data validation text, so I apologise for making
extra work by having made all my comments in the earlier version!****

** **

** **

** **

*From:* rt4-whois-bounces at icann.org [mailto:rt4-whois-bounces at icann.org] *On
Behalf Of *Emily Taylor
*Sent:* Saturday, 28 April 2012 9:59 PM
*To:* rt4-whois at icann.org
*Subject:* [Rt4-whois] Executive summary, findings and recommendations -
revised****

** **

Dear all****

Thank you Kathy for your work on combining our discussions, findings and
recommendations into a single document along with the Executive Summary.****

** **

I have gone through it all now, and attach a marked up draft, which I hope
does the following:****

** **

1.  I have marked as accepted all the text which I believe has been agreed
by the team on our previous calls - that is the wording of findings and
recommendations on strategic priority, data accuracy, most of the wording
on privacy proxy (apart from last para), the common interface, and the new
ones at the end on progress reporting.  I may have got this wrong, and hope
that others will review carefully.****

** **

2. I have marked up new text:****

** **

- there were some sections of the old exec summary which I thought we could
reintroduce since they make important points on (1) consensus building and
(2) consumer trust.****

** **

- The text on strategic priority which is new, recalls our agreement on the
last call.  This is basically Susan's text.  Having reviewed the whole
recommendation, it makes sense (I think) to pull out some duplicate ideas
(on incentives), and also to put the reporting bit at the end.****

** **

- I added a few words into Kathy's new text introducing Outreach (rec 3).
 I like Kathy's text and recommend that it is accepted.****

** **

- Whole new section on Compliance.  As reported on our last call, we've had
an outline in circulation for some time, but only had the opportunity to
discuss in our small team yesterday.  This is our proposal, which is lifted
from the larger chapter that was circulated yesterday.****

** **

- I added the WDRP text (which was quite a popular draft recommendation!)
into data accuracy recommendations.  I recall from our discussions in Costa
Rica that we agreed it was a bit out of place as the second recommendation,
and that it fitted better as a sub-section on accuracy.  Having put in that
recommendation, I saw that we had no text in the findings to anchor it.
 Taking Kathy's approach, I found the paragraph in our original draft
report (Compliance chapter - findings), which described the problem we
perceive.****

** **

- The paragraph on data validation (drafted by James, Lynn and me) is now
at the end of the findings on data accuracy, as agreed on our last call.****

** **

Otherwise, I recommend Kathy's changes are accepted (I've left them marked
up so all can see and comment).****

** **

Lastly, Kathy - you asked about "de-accreditation", and my recollection is
that we noted James' draft and helpful explanations on this, and agreed
that we didn't need to go further or add new text into the recommendations.
Again, if I've misunderstood, please shout.****

** **

All: Would be grateful for your input on this as soon as possible.  Even if
it's a short e-mail saying "I read it; I agree" ;-)****

** **

** **

** **

Kind regards****

Emily****

** **

****

** **

-- 

   ****

*
*

76 Temple Road, Oxford OX4 2EZ UK
t: +44 (0)1865 582 811 • m: +44 (0)7540 049 322
emily at emilytaylor.eu

*www.etlaw.co.uk*

Emily Taylor Consultancy Limited is a company registered in England and
Wales No. 7630471. VAT No. 114487713.****

** **

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