[CCWG-ACCT] CCWG - Third Draft Proposal with annexes - First full version for CCWG comments (1 of many emails due to size)

[Bernard Turcotte]

All,

As per the schedule please find attached in separate files the third draft
of the CCWG-Accountability Proposal and all its core annexes.

We have opted to present it as separate files for ease of consideration.

The core proposal file is aptly named CWG-3rdMainProposalV3.0 and all the
Annex file names conveniently start with the word Annex and the number
matches the recommendation
​.

You will quickly realize that the main proposal is very closely based on
the Update that was published on the 15th of November. Its slightly bigger
at about 50 pages
​​
vs 30 for the update
​​
document. Some of the texts have been updated or replaced given the work
that was carried out in developing the annexes however the core content has
not changed - simply how we present it. A good part of the size increase is
due to the comparative chart of the Mission and Core values which takes up
7 pages, but we felt it was critical content which needed to be in the main
proposal. Graphics have been updated and new ones added which also accounts
for some of the increase. Each Recommendation also now has a Detailed
Recommendations section which tries to clearly identify what will need to
be done for the specific Recommendation to be implemented. These changes by
themselves probably account for the majority increase in volume.

Each Annex has 4 sections
​ completed​
, Summary, Detailed Recommendations, Explanation, Changes from the 2nd
Draft. The summary is intended to be a high level functional summary of the
recommendation and can sometimes be the same as the text in the main
proposal. Detailed Recommendations should be the same as in the main
proposal. The 3rd section is where the detailed content is. As an example
we essentially copied the IRP section from the second draft into the detail
section of the annex 7 on IRP. The 4th section Changes is a high level
summary of changes from the second draft.There are additional sections but
these are still under development.

Given the size of the project and the schedule we hope you will understand
that staff has only been able to do a first pass at editing these. As such
final formatting has not been done and there will certainly be some
spelling, grammar and other types of nits.

Before being finalized the documents will be scrubbed by editors, writers
and formatters.

As you can see we have all the appropriate resources that will do their
usual great editing job and as such we do not require everyone to volunteer
to be our copy editors. It is also important to understand that line edits
are a big problem for staff given not everyone works to the same standards
and multiple line edited versions of the same document, as we learned in
the comment exercise on the Update document, can be divergent and require
an incredible amount of work to reconcile into a single version - which for
the volume of work we are considering in this phase would make it
impossible.So please, everyone, and especially our legally minded
collaborators, no line edits.

We are however looking forward to comments about content, are the
recommendations clear and correctly presented, is there enough information
in the main document, if not what is missing, is there too much
information, what is that, Is the material organized and structured in an
effective format. This is what we need at this point.

Therefore we look forward to your comments, as per the above caveats, on
this draft by 23:59UTC  Monday November 23rd.

B
​ernard Turcotte
ICANN Staff Support.​

for the co-chairs and staff.
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