[AT-Review] Edits on version 7

[Brian Cute]

Thank you Fabio.

 

From: Fabio Colasanti [mailto:fabio at colasanti.it] 
Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2010 5:29 AM
To: at-review at icann.org; ugasser at cyber.law.harvard.edu;
rfaris at cyber.law.harvard.edu; 'Caroline Nolan'
Cc: 'Alice Jansen'
Subject: [AT-Review] Edits on version 7

 

Dear all,

 

A few small edits on the "draftMaster 7".

 

Ÿ    Page 4, first paragraph, last sentence:

"
 and the ATRT will refine its Proposed Recommendations based also on the
basis of public comment received to produce Final Recommendations to the
ICANN Board of Directors."

 

Ÿ    Page 17, section "The Board Review", point 4, last sentence:

I would replace the last sentence "This document also fails to address
decision making."   with "This document also does not address the
transparency of decision making".   Brian had already asked Chris whether
"decision making" or "transparency of the decision making" was what we were
concerned about.   I would also replace the word "fails" with "does not".
The former has too strong a negative connotation.

 

Ÿ    Page 22, section "Summary of GAC activities", third line:

"Whois Services", a "c" is missing.

 

All the best,

 

Fabio

 

 

Fabio Colasanti

36, rue des Patriotes

B-1000 Bruxelles

tel. +32 2 736 26 16

mob. +32 488 14 24 05

fabio at colasanti.it

 

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