[atrt2] Corrections to Final Report

Alan Greenberg alan.greenberg at mcgill.ca
Sun Dec 22 19:44:13 UTC 2013


Attached is the most recent version I received. Previous changes to 
Recommendation 7 (page 46) and the entire Section 13 (pages 63-69) 
were accepted and my changes then added.

The changes are:

- Rec 7 now has to somewhat unrelated sections, so I applied 
numbering to the paragraphs.

- Changing capitalization in Rec 7 and omitting an extraneous word.

- The body of Section 13 still referred specifically to the PDP even 
though the recommendations were now more generalized. I changed the 
added a sentence to the lead paragraph of Section 13 to address this.

- Bullets were missing to the summary of original community input.

- Adding a missing S in 10.1-b

I have NOT made the corresponding changes to the Executive Summary.


Two changes throughout the document that I have NOT made but highly recommend:

- We interchangeably use "public comment" and "Public Comment". I 
suggest the latter.

- The section title "Public Comment on Draft Recommendations" has had 
the "Draft" deleted, presumably because we are no longer including 
the text of the draft Recs. This results in some confusion as to 
whether these comments are in fact to the Recs that follow. I suggest 
we re-instate the word Draft, and perhaps and a line just under the 
title pointing to where the draft report can be found.

Alan
-------------- next part --------------
A non-text attachment was scrubbed...
Name: ATRT2 Final Report - Draft #2-AG.docx
Type: application/msword
Size: 371927 bytes
Desc: not available
URL: <http://mm.icann.org/pipermail/atrt2/attachments/20131222/086ee64e/ATRT2FinalReport-Draft2-AG-0001.docx>


More information about the atrt2 mailing list