[gnso-rds-pdp-wg] For your review - updated RDS Statement of Purpose
Rob Golding
rob.golding at astutium.com
Thu Sep 29 04:10:05 UTC 2016
#1
>> purpose of gTLD registration data is to provide information
provide seems to be the wrong word, although I'm unsure if
store/manage/maintain/record/define are any better
>> about the lifecycle of a domain name (as specified by ICANN’s Diagram
>> of gTLD Lifecycle)
>> to enable management of a domain name registration.
I'm struggling with "to enable management of a domain name registration"
maybe "enable" should be "assist with"
#2
>> purpose of a system to collect, maintain, and provide access to gTLD
>> Registration Data
>> (hereafter referred to as “the RDS”) is to provide information that is
^ we've already defined it as a systems to "collect, maintain and
provide" so the extra "provide" here should probably be "handle" or
"manage"
>> needed by authorized parties to operate a generic top-level domain
>> name in the DNS.
^ RDS isn't needed to operate a domain in the DNS
perhaps "to operate a generic top-level domain name in the DNS." should
just be "regarding a gTLD"
Rob
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