[Internal-cg] Blog post
Lynn St.Amour
Lynn at lstamour.org
Mon Jan 19 14:06:26 UTC 2015
Hi Alissa,
very good article. My comments were so few that I simply included them here and did not update the document itself. They are of course only suggestions as this is your blog...
- 1st para - suggest replacing "community consensus" with "the consensus of their communities" to make it even more clear that these processes live in the respective communities.
- 5th para. - nit. for completeness: add NTIA to Larry's title.
- 3rd para. from the end - current sentence reads: "Thus, the assembly and finalization process has many built-in checks to ensure that the final plan is of the highest quality, addresses feedback from anyone who chooses to provide it, and represents community consensus." Suggest deleting: "from anyone who chooses to provide it" as this could be confusing (or over inviting)
- Penultimate para. - consider replacing "askance" with "with surprise" -- surely these types of M/S processes are no longer so foreign, even if not universally applauded :-).
Again, the blog is very good.
Thanks much for doing this.
Lynn
On Jan 16, 2015, at 12:49 AM, Alissa Cooper <alissa at cooperw.in> wrote:
> Last week we had some mailing list discussion about a blog post I could write to provide an update about timing, next steps, and our perspective of the process to date. Attached and in Dropbox <https://www.dropbox.com/home/CoordinationGroup/January%202015%20blog%20post> is a draft. Please send feedback to the list. It would be great to get this posted early next week.
>
> Given the blog format, I took a few liberties with the language and tone — there is a little (attempted) humor in there.
>
> Alissa
>
> <transition-planning-internet-style-00.docx>
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