[Ws2-hr] new text..... Suggested Text [renamed subject line]

[Rudolph Daniel]

May I make the following observations on this latest text....

When examining its operations, ICANN the organization could consider using
a mechanism

( why singular and not 'mechanisms'...if from past comments, if I
comprehend,)

like the UNGPs as well as specific instruments such as HRIAs to assess its
impact on Human Rights. It could also consider, in appropriate cases,
voluntary remediation efforts.

(It could also consider,  where it deems appropriate, voluntary remediation
efforts (?) )

However, it is up to ICANN the organization to decide whether to do so, and
if so how (i.e., choosing the most appropriate framework,

( think u mean mechanism not framework)

instrument,
( singular? or plural?)

or remediation effort.

(again I think you mean 'efforts')

The results of ICANN the organization's analysis should be reflected in
ICANN’s annual reporting.

....

On Aug 9, 2017 1:20 PM, "McAuley, David via Ws2-hr" <ws2-hr at icann.org>
wrote:
>
> As part of the drafting team recruited yesterday during the call, I would
like to suggest text to consider (BTW – I don’t think there is a separate
“drafting team” email list for this discrete effort).
>
> BACKGROUND:
>
> Here is text as proposed by Niels prior to our call yesterday (the
original text is in his email forwarded below):
>
> 3.1 When examining its operations, ICANN the organization could consider
using a framework like the UNGPs as well as specific instruments such as
HRIAs to assess its impact on Human Rights, and offer remediation.
> However, it is up to ICANN the organization to decide the most
appropriate framework and instrument to do this. The results of ICANN the
organization's analysis should be reflected in ICANN’s annual reporting.
>
> I suggested a different text on list yesterday but I have tweaked it in
my latest suggested text below to take account of two points Kavouss made
on list.
>
> First, I use the word “mechanism” instead of “framework” and I add a
reference to voluntary remediation, agreeing with Kavouss to attempt to
address comments by several country reps to the group.
>
> MY LATEST SUGGESTED TEXT:
>
> 3.1 When examining its operations, ICANN the organization could consider
using a mechanism like the UNGPs as well as specific instruments such as
HRIAs to assess its impact on Human Rights. It could also consider, in
appropriate cases, voluntary remediation efforts. However, it is up to
ICANN the organization to decide whether to do so, and if so how (i.e.,
choosing the most appropriate framework, instrument, or remediation
effort). The results of ICANN the organization's analysis should be
reflected in ICANN’s annual reporting.
>
> Best regards,
> David
>
> David McAuley
> Sr International Policy & Business Development Manager
> Verisign Inc.
> 703-948-4154
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: ws2-hr-bounces at icann.org [mailto:ws2-hr-bounces at icann.org] On
Behalf Of Niels ten Oever
> Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2017 3:55 PM
> To: ws2-hr at icann.org
> Subject: [EXTERNAL] [Ws2-hr] red line
>
> Hi all,
>
> Original text:
>
> When examining its operations, ICANN the organization could also consider
instruments such as HRIAs to assess their impact on Human Rights.  However,
this is up to ICANN the organization to develop and implement. The results
of such HRIAs should be reflected in ICANN’s annual reporting.
>
> Text proposed by me on the call:
>
> When examining its operations, ICANN the organization could consider
using a framework like the UNGPs as well as specific instruments such as
HRIAs to assess its impact on Human Rights, and offer remediation.
> However, it is up to ICANN the organization to decide the most
appropriate framework and instrument to do this. The results of ICANN the
organization's analysis should be reflected in ICANN’s annual reporting.
>
> I am greatly looking forward to the suggestion of the drafting team.
>
> Best,
>
> Niels
>
>
> --
> Niels ten Oever
> Head of Digital
>
> Article 19
> www.article19.org
>
> PGP fingerprint    8D9F C567 BEE4 A431 56C4
>                    678B 08B5 A0F2 636D 68E9
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