[gnso-rds-pdp-wg] For your review - updated RDS Statement of Purpose

[Rob Golding]

#1

>> purpose of gTLD registration data is to provide information

provide seems to be the wrong word, although I'm unsure if 
store/manage/maintain/record/define are any better

>> about the lifecycle of a domain name (as specified by ICANN’s Diagram 
>> of gTLD Lifecycle)
>> to enable management of a domain name registration.

I'm struggling with "to enable management of a domain name registration"
maybe "enable" should be "assist with"


#2

>> purpose of a system to collect, maintain, and provide access to gTLD 
>> Registration Data
>> (hereafter referred to as “the RDS”) is to provide information that is

^ we've already defined it as a systems to "collect, maintain and 
provide" so the extra "provide" here should probably be "handle" or 
"manage"

>> needed by authorized parties to operate a generic top-level domain 
>> name in the DNS.

^ RDS isn't needed to operate a domain in the DNS

perhaps "to operate a generic top-level domain name in the DNS." should 
just be "regarding a gTLD"

Rob