[CCWG-ACCT] CCWG - Third Draft Proposal with annexes - First full version for CCWG comments (5 of many emails due to size)

[Bernard Turcotte]

Annexes 8,9,10 and 11

B.

On Fri, Nov 20, 2015 at 4:25 PM, Bernard Turcotte <
turcotte.bernard at gmail.com> wrote:

> Annex 4
>
> B.
>
> On Fri, Nov 20, 2015 at 4:18 PM, Bernard Turcotte <
> turcotte.bernard at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>>
>> All,
>>
>> As per the schedule please find attached in separate files the third
>> draft of the CCWG-Accountability Proposal and all its core annexes.
>>
>> We have opted to present it as separate files for ease of consideration.
>>
>> The core proposal file is aptly named CWG-3rdMainProposalV3.0 and all the
>> Annex file names conveniently start with the word Annex and the number
>> matches the recommendation
>> ​.
>>
>> You will quickly realize that the main proposal is very closely based on
>> the Update that was published on the 15th of November. Its slightly bigger
>> at about 50 pages
>> ​​
>> vs 30 for the update
>> ​​
>> document. Some of the texts have been updated or replaced given the work
>> that was carried out in developing the annexes however the core content has
>> not changed - simply how we present it. A good part of the size increase is
>> due to the comparative chart of the Mission and Core values which takes up
>> 7 pages, but we felt it was critical content which needed to be in the main
>> proposal. Graphics have been updated and new ones added which also accounts
>> for some of the increase. Each Recommendation also now has a Detailed
>> Recommendations section which tries to clearly identify what will need to
>> be done for the specific Recommendation to be implemented. These changes by
>> themselves probably account for the majority increase in volume.
>>
>> Each Annex has 4 sections
>> ​ completed​
>> , Summary, Detailed Recommendations, Explanation, Changes from the 2nd
>> Draft. The summary is intended to be a high level functional summary of the
>> recommendation and can sometimes be the same as the text in the main
>> proposal. Detailed Recommendations should be the same as in the main
>> proposal. The 3rd section is where the detailed content is. As an example
>> we essentially copied the IRP section from the second draft into the detail
>> section of the annex 7 on IRP. The 4th section Changes is a high level
>> summary of changes from the second draft.There are additional sections but
>> these are still under development.
>>
>> Given the size of the project and the schedule we hope you will
>> understand that staff has only been able to do a first pass at editing
>> these. As such final formatting has not been done and there will certainly
>> be some spelling, grammar and other types of nits.
>>
>> Before being finalized the documents will be scrubbed by editors, writers
>> and formatters.
>>
>> As you can see we have all the appropriate resources that will do their
>> usual great editing job and as such we do not require everyone to volunteer
>> to be our copy editors. It is also important to understand that line edits
>> are a big problem for staff given not everyone works to the same standards
>> and multiple line edited versions of the same document, as we learned in
>> the comment exercise on the Update document, can be divergent and require
>> an incredible amount of work to reconcile into a single version - which for
>> the volume of work we are considering in this phase would make it
>> impossible.So please, everyone, and especially our legally minded
>> collaborators, no line edits.
>>
>> We are however looking forward to comments about content, are the
>> recommendations clear and correctly presented, is there enough information
>> in the main document, if not what is missing, is there too much
>> information, what is that, Is the material organized and structured in an
>> effective format. This is what we need at this point.
>>
>> Therefore we look forward to your comments, as per the above caveats, on
>> this draft by 23:59UTC  Monday November 23rd.
>>
>> B
>> ​ernard Turcotte
>> ICANN Staff Support.​
>>
>> for the co-chairs and staff.
>>
>>
>
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