[gnso-rds-pdp-wg] For your review - updated RDS Statement of Purpose

[Stephanie Perrin]

to "facilitate" the management of a domain name registration throughout 
its life cycle?

Stephanie Perrin


On 2016-09-29 10:47, Gomes, Chuck wrote:
> Thanks Rob for contributing to our discussion.   I inserted some questions after Rob's comments to help us discuss them as a group.
>
> All - please see and respond to my comments below.
>
> Chuck
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces at icann.org [mailto:gnso-rds-pdp-wg-bounces at icann.org] On Behalf Of Rob Golding
> Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2016 12:10 AM
> To: gnso-rds-pdp-wg at icann.org
> Subject: Re: [gnso-rds-pdp-wg] For your review - updated RDS Statement of Purpose
>
> #1
>
>>> purpose of gTLD registration data is to provide information
> provide seems to be the wrong word, although I'm unsure if store/manage/maintain/record/define are any better
> [Chuck Gomes] Does anyone, including Rob, have a suggested edit in this regard?
>
>>> about the lifecycle of a domain name (as specified by ICANN’s Diagram
>>> of gTLD Lifecycle) to enable management of a domain name
>>> registration.
> I'm struggling with "to enable management of a domain name registration"
> maybe "enable" should be "assist with"
> [Chuck Gomes] Does anyone object to this suggested edit or have an alternative one to deal with Rob's concern?
>
>
> #2
>
>>> purpose of a system to collect, maintain, and provide access to gTLD
>>> Registration Data (hereafter referred to as “the RDS”) is to provide
>>> information that is
> ^ we've already defined it as a systems to "collect, maintain and provide" so the extra "provide" here should probably be "handle" or "manage"
> [Chuck Gomes] Do members support changing 'to provide information'?  If so, which option do you prefer: 1) 'to handle information'; 2) 'to manage information'; 3) some other word?
>
>>> needed by authorized parties to operate a generic top-level domain
>>> name in the DNS.
> ^ RDS isn't needed to operate a domain in the DNS
>
> perhaps "to operate a generic top-level domain name in the DNS." should just be "regarding a gTLD"
> [Chuck Gomes] Does anyone object to this edit or have an alternative suggestion?
>
> Rob
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