[Rt4-whois] Executive Summary - clean and checked

Emily Taylor emily at emilytaylor.eu
Wed May 2 17:25:04 UTC 2012


Hi all

Alice, as agreed this morning, has gone through and produced a clean
version of the Executive Summary.

I have now reviewed this for sense, and attach a mark up showing the
following:

1. correction of a few minor typos
2. Page 1: our work has taken 18 months, so I put that in instead of
"year-long"
3. Page 5: recommendation 1 I changed "take" to "taking" in the last bullet
point for sense.
4. Page 11: on the second bullet point (recommendation 10) I added that the
contact details are "for the privacy/proxy service provider".  This takes
on a comment/suggestion made by Seth a few days ago in notes on the draft
to say that the sense of this bullet point was not clear.
5. Page 11: I think we should put in a footnote to say that "thin" whois
will be explained in the glossary (and  check that it is!)
6. Page 13 (findings for IDNs): I have included Sarmad's proposed language
described on this morning's call.

That's all - it reads well, and I think we should be proud of it.

There are more nit picky points that I wanted to make about certain
recommendations, but have held back.  We're done.

If you would like to make your own comments, please do so as soon as
possible today.

Alice - please can you take in these tracked changes and now combine the
Executive summary into the final document for publication.

Alice - the final document should also include the new chapter on
compliance (cleaned up - let me know if you'd like me to review this once
you've taken in the edits), and replacement of Findings and Recommendations
chapters with the new text from the Executive Summary.

Kind regards

Emily

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